The Thamesmead Grump

A FEATHERED WARNING 

According to this article, published by the Daily Mirror, a self-appointed "UFO expert" who goes by the name of Nick Pope has suggested that we should be wary of seagulls who have been repurposed as secret drones, acting as alien spies and sending information about us back to their mothership.

The Mirror journalist reporting the story, John Bett, says this makes a lot of sense.

The reason they have to use this sort of devious method is because despite being thousands of years in advance of us, they never invented the internet so would never think to find out everything they need to know about our species just by watching YouTube.

One has to wonder just what information the aliens are collecting and what they intend doing with it. Infiltrating our secret military headquarters would be problematical; I'm sure with even the most lax security measures, the people inside would have no difficulty in spotting a seagull flying around. 

Imagine the Cabinet Office at No 10 with Jonathan Livingstone Seagull perched on the picture rail, gathering all that secret information whilst waiting to pounce on the hors d'oeuvres during one of their lockdown parties. Surely someone would notice.

Of course, if they were spying on the rest of us like some of the conspiracy theorist fruit loops claim, that would make more sense. After all, what an alien race that has just spent 50,000 years crossing the light years wants to really know about us Earthlings is ............. actually, I've no idea what they want to know about us but whatever it is, it must be important.

I know for a fact that they are spying on me and I caught one in the act. In this case the seagull had cunningly disguised itself as a collared dove but it didn't fool me for a moment. From now on, I'll be watching the skies.

5 MAY ELECTION UPDATE.

For those of you who are waiting with baited breath for my latest election update, I'm afraid I don't have much to add.

This information refers to the Thamesmead East ward where I live. I don't know anything about any of the others.

I did receive another election leaflet, again from Labour, this time giving me a little more information about their candidates and more details about what they have planned for the borough if they win a majority.

Trying to find out anything about any of the others is like pulling teeth. The sole Liberal Democrat, Doro Oddiri seems a sincere enough fellow although his Statement to Voters is left over from his 2017 General Election one when he stood as an Independent. 

The three Tory candidates, Graham Anthony Moon, Natalie Price, Rajinder Singh Tumber, I think work for MI5 so cannot disclose anything about themselves at all. Apart from a name, there is nothing; no address, no contact details, no picture; nothing.

More when (if) I get it.