Friday, 25 May 2018

When you visit this blog, you will see a rather disturbing notice about the new General Data Protection Regulations (GDPR) that have come into force today.

This has nothing to do with me, Google are attaching the same notice to everyone's blog in order to cover themselves under the new rules. 

Having read them in some detail it would seem that I now have to tell you that I collect the souls of anyone reading my blog and sell them to the Lord Satan. Unfortunately you don't have any way of opting out of this as any promises I may make in this regard will most certainly be a lie.

Continue reading at your peril.

The Meeting That Never Was

Donald Trump has cancelled his planned meeting with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un after it was reported that Kim's Aunty Beryl made a number of inappropriate remarks about one of the US President's family members.

"She never should have said what she did about our Sharon" complained the President, immediately cancelling what would have been a unique summit between two of the greatest leaders of modern times.

President Trump has left the door open to some sort of possible meeting in the future "as soon as that slitty eyed, moon faced rocket man gives me back the lawn mower I lent his Dad in 1952 even though he says I never did".

The Manorway Park Massacre.

Manorway Park
before the slaughter.
A few days ago, I posted a few images of our local park on the Thamesmead Facebook page along with a satirical comment about Peabody and the poor standard of maintenance. The grass (what was left of it anyway) clearly hadn't been cut in a long time and while I do support keeping some of our green areas set aside for wildlife, this is an area that children like to play on and it was clearly not up to the job.

Anyway, someone from Peabody picked it up and a few days later I could hear the sound of lawn mowers and strimmers going at it.

I've been back to look at the result. 

Deary me. Next time lads, might I suggest doing the job before going to the pub and not on the way back. It looks like Desperate Dan's face after a particularly inefficient shave. Top points for the effort though.

Don't touch.
And while we are on the subject of Peabody and public area maintenance.

Anyone visiting the town centre from the Thamesmere Drive bus stop will have to walk past a particularly unpleasant piece of local flora in the shape of a herb commonly known as Hemlock (Conium maculatum). 

It looks a bit like Cow Parsley on steroids and with large purple markings on the stem.

You've probably heard of it, and yes, it really is very poisonous. If you see it, don't touch it or try to remove it and please keep your kid's hands off it because if one of them puts it in their mouth they will almost certainly die.

Moron Alert!

It's happened again. This picture turned up on my Facebook page a few days ago. As you can see, someone has stolen a picture of a sick person lying in a hospital bed; they have then stolen a picture of someone's cat and then badly Photoshopped the two images together along with the accompanying message. This is in order to collect click-bait likes, the subject of which has been covered on these pages many times.

Because the quality of the image is so poor (you can actually see the pattern of the patient's gown showing through the cat's ears) it's hard to imagine anyone being fooled by it for a minute.

You would be wrong: literally tens of thousands of likes, shares and comments, all of which were made up of soppy remarks about how lovely this all was and none at all about how loathsome it was to steal a picture like this for some gratuitous purpose. 

I sometimes wonder why we ever bothered climbing down out of the trees.

Just for those of you who might still be fooled by these things, here (once again) is some information you should read first.

Sunday, 6 May 2018

Just a few updates from my Facebook page for those of you who don't do social media.

Tossers at Henry Vincent's funeral
Earlier this week, we were treated to scenes of how the other half live courtesy of the funeral of career burglar and all round nice guy Henry Vincent.

As many of you will know, Henry made a living out of targeting elderly and vulnerable people and threatening to stab them if they didn't give him all their money. He finally got his comeuppance when, during one of his house visits, he pushed one of his would-be elderly victims into his kitchen with inevitable results.

His friends and family gave him the solemn and dignified respect he deserved by taking with them pockets full of eggs and stones to throw at passers by.

It was how he would have wanted to be remembered.

Democracy at work.

The results of the local elections are now available and it's comforting to see how the people of Bexley showed how they wouldn't allow their interests to be ignored by politicians by sitting on their lazy arses and not bothering to vote.

I think it's a real shame that all those angry individuals who spend their time on social media telling the world about how none of the local councillors gave a damm about them can't be asked to actually do something about it.

Anyway, for those of you who are interested, here are the Bexley results.

Conservative - 20%
Labour - 13.7%
Lib Dem - 1.1%
UKIP - 1.1%
Don't Care - 63%

A resounding victory for apathy. Well done to all concerned.

My brain hurts.

At last years Labour Party conference in Brighton, a number of right wing extremists of the knuckle dragging variety took issue with the picture of the Mosque behind the stage. It was actually Brighton Pavilion but when your IQ only has two (rather small) numbers in it, it can be difficult to tell one from the other.

In the same tradition of not knowing how to do joined up writing, or even how to tie your shoelaces, comes this offering from an anonymous Twitter account holder who was seriously upset that his Daughter's school was going to be shut last Thursday for Poland[sic] Day. I kid you not, I've actually checked this and it's real.

The dialogue went like this - 

‘Aaliyah off tomoz for Poland day wtf nvr heard of it !!’

‘And we don’t get a fucking day of for st Georges day, what a joke this place is xxx’

‘Your having a fucking laugh aren’t ye x’

‘It’s pathetic gill xxx’

‘As u said they don’t st off for st Georges day so who give a flying fuck about pooled day offs its for the poles were British x’

‘There nothing GREAT about Great Britain now gill, run by piss poor shitbags xxx’

‘Are you sure it’s not ‘polling day’ hun lol x’

Meathead strikes again.

US President, IRA sympathiser and pussy grabber in chief Donald Trump describes London hospitals as war zones.

The population of Washington DC, the capital of the United States is just under 700,000. In the first three months of 2018 there have been 373 murders.

The population of London, the capital of the United Kingdom is 8.8 million. In the first three months of 2018 there have been 46 murders.

Or to put it another way, you are 100 times more likely to be murdered in Washington than in London.

Or to put it another, another way, why don't you go and boil your head, you obnoxious, loud mouthed sad excuse for a human being.

Saturday, 28 April 2018

A roundup of the latest news.

Amber Rudd.

The Home Office has been illegally deporting British citizens who arrived from abroad; most particularly West Indians from the so-called "Windrush" generation who were persuaded by the then government health minister Enoch Powell to come and live and work in Britain. Those who have not already been deported have suffered harassment by various authorities; losing their jobs, being refused benefits and even being refused health care and medical treatment.

Amber Rudd, the Home Secretary responsible for this shameful episode is trying to wriggle out of it by a series of shifting denials that hopefully (once all the other Tory ministers who don't think that she has done anything wrong finally give up and desert her) will result in her swift departure.

First - there weren't any targets, then there were targets but they had only been set at local level and she hadn't been told about them, then there were targets and they had been set at national level and she had been told about them but hadn't read the memo.

The question is then, is Amber Rudd a liar, incompetent or both?

To be clear, the targets were to deport a specific number of immigrants, this had nothing to do with the number who were here illegally; it was simply, "find some people who were not born in the UK and deport them". In this case, it didn't even matter if the immigrants were already British citizens as they had been born in countries that were still regarded as British colonies or dependencies when they arrived here.

This policy will have been set at the highest level and would have most certainly involved government ministers and senior civil servants at the Home Office.

I am all too well aware of policies like this as I encountered them while working for the DWP. Front line advisers were instructed to set jobseekers job seeking conditions that were impossible to comply with so as to be able to meet targets for sanctioning claims for benefits. None of this was ever put in writing so managers could invoke the "plausible deniability" scam if the facts ever became public. Junior staff were made aware that failure to meet these targets would affect their performance assessments at the end of the year and so, also affect their pay and bonuses.

I have no doubt at all that exactly the same regime operated at the Home Office. Hopefully, we will find out.

Art is whatever you can get away with.

(Andy Warhol)

"Half of French museum's art was fake" quotes this article on the BBC news website. 

According to this BBC, the Êtienne Terrus museum in Elne, France has discovered that half the pictures in it's gallery are fake

Why does this not surprise me and why do I find the whole thing entertaining?

The trouble with almost the entire art world is that it is so up it's own backside that it rarely sees the light of day. Time and time again, the whole charade is made to look a fool and the joy is, they never seem to learn.

If it isn't exhibitions featuring the doodlings of a class of 5 year olds being "critically" acclaimed by so-called art experts, then it's the same bunch of self opinionated idiots being fooled by the likes of John Myatt. He would produce fake pictures supposedly by famous artists and sell them to the art world who were entirely taken in by them. He didn't even try very hard; he would buy a modern canvas blank and use paint bought from his local branch of B&Q.

Apparently, many of his paintings still hang in famous galleries around the world and are visited by the most celebrated art experts who are still completely taken in by them.

The Royal Baby

It will be interesting to see whether Donald Trump will want to pay his respects to the new prince, named after Lord Louis Mountbatten who was murdered by his IRA chums in 1979 when he visits the UK this Summer.

The Queen, being the supreme diplomat she is, will no doubt not want to raise the subject but that doesn't stop the rest of us from doing so.

I shall watch this story unfold with interest.

Above, you can see Donald Trump shaking hands with Gerry Adams at an IRA benefit fundraising dinner at the Essex House hotel, New York in 1995 just a few months before they bombed Canary Wharf, killing 2 people.

And now for something completely different.

For what it's worth, my anteater night picture was also disqualified on similar grounds.

Wednesday, 28 March 2018



Part of the "Great Pacific Garbage Patch".
A raft of marine plastic the size of Belgium
in the Pacific Ocean.
Picture from the Ocean Cleanup Foundation
Plans to introduce a plastic bottle and can deposit scheme have been proposed to encourage recycling. Currently in the UK we buy around 13 billion plastic bottles every year and discard nearly half of them. 

The British Plastics Federation claim that it could cost up to a billion pounds to set up and another billion a year to run. Given that local authorities spend around £778 million a year clearing up the ones we throw into the street, the net cost wouldn't be all that great. If it resulted in us not actually making the planet uninhabitable, it would pay for itself many times over.

I don't know what the cost of recycling cans would be but the actual value of the metal would make it an even more viable proposition.

If the refund were high enough, I could imagine there would soon be a thriving industry in the collection of plastic and metal litter already discarded on our streets and we could soon benefit from a much cleaner environment.

This has all got me to thinking: the Earth's crust contains a thin layer of the rare metal Iridium. It was deposited there around 66 million years ago when an asteroid struck just off the Yucatan Peninsular and which is credited with the extinction of the Dinosaurs and many other species. Immediately below the layer, there is a huge variety of living creatures; immediately above it, nothing.

Imagine then, scientists examining the Earth's crust in another 66 million years. In  it they will find an equally thin layer of plastic (this stuff is impossible to completely destroy). Like the Iridium layer, immediately below it there will be a rich diversity of life and, just like before, above it, nothing.

This will leave them with an impossible conundrum. The invention and manufacture of plastic requires the technological expertise of an intelligent species, but what intelligent species would then go and dump millions of tons of the stuff in the ocean? They will probably never know.


Back in 2016, I reported the fact that Bexley Council had begun using bailiffs to recover arrears of council tax and warned of the possible consequences of doing this. I had some direct experience of the activities of bailiffs acting for Greenwich Council over a number of years and the appalling and often illegal methods they used. It was always my intention to follow this story up with more information but I never did.

For some reason, this story has been followed on my blog an extraordinary number of times and I wonder why. It's not the only old story to attract attention but it's by far the most popular. 

A mystery.

Tuesday, 27 March 2018



Oh no! I'm in trouble now and no mistake. I've just received this email from Peet [sic] Smith who it seems knows everything about my more unsavoury habits and what's more, is threatening to post the details to all my contacts.

The trojan he is using to infect my computer is very sophisticated; so much so in fact, that it can not only show him everything I am seeing on my screen, it can even get my old camera out of the drawer where I keep it and plug it into my computer without my noticing.

Well - sorry to disappoint you Peet, but none of the porn websites I go to have managed to download any trojans on my computer and what's more, I always send the details about them to all my contacts anyway without any help from you.

By the way, I manage to satisfy myself by advertising scams by twats like you on my blog so everyone can have a good laugh.

Anyway, if anyone else wants to say anything to good old Peet, they can do so by going to either (or both) of his email adresses and say it there.

Original message

Message ID<>
Created on:27 March 2018 at 12:54 (Delivered after 0 seconds)
From:Peet Smith <> Using Leaf PHPMailer 2.7 (
Subject:Make sure to pay me within 3 days

There is nothing wrong with satisfying yourself from time to time, but if your family and friends are witness to this, it is of course a big disgrace.

I've been watching you for a while because I hacked you through a trojan virus in an ad on a porn website.

If you are not familiar with this, I will explain it. A trojan virus gives you full access and control over a computer (or any other device). That means that I can see everything on your screen and switch on your camera and microphone without you being aware of it. That way I also got access to all your contacts.

I made a video that shows how you satisfy yourself on the left half of the screen and on the right half you see the video you were watching. With the press of a button I can forward this video to all contacts of your email and social media.

If you want to prevent this, transfer an amount of $750 USD to my bitcoin address.

Step 1: Go to or and create an account.
Step 2: Confirm your account with your passport or ID.
Step 3: Deposit the money on your coinbase bitcoin account via your credit card or bank account.
Step 4: Send the bitcoins to the address below and then send an email with the confirmation to: and

Bitcoin address:

As soon as the payment is received, I will delete the video and you will never hear from me again. I give you 3 days to make the payment. After that you know what happens. I can see it when you have read this email.

Reporting me to the police is a waist of time because this email can’t be traced in any way and my bitcoin address either. I do not make mistakes. If I find out that you filed a report or shared this message with someone else, the video will be immediately distributed.

Send an email confirmation after you have made the payment to these 2 email addresses: and