Friday, 25 May 2018

When you visit this blog, you will see a rather disturbing notice about the new General Data Protection Regulations (GDPR) that have come into force today.

This has nothing to do with me, Google are attaching the same notice to everyone's blog in order to cover themselves under the new rules. 

Having read them in some detail it would seem that I now have to tell you that I collect the souls of anyone reading my blog and sell them to the Lord Satan. Unfortunately you don't have any way of opting out of this as any promises I may make in this regard will most certainly be a lie.

Continue reading at your peril.

The Meeting That Never Was

Donald Trump has cancelled his planned meeting with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un after it was reported that Kim's Aunty Beryl made a number of inappropriate remarks about one of the US President's family members.

"She never should have said what she did about our Sharon" complained the President, immediately cancelling what would have been a unique summit between two of the greatest leaders of modern times.

President Trump has left the door open to some sort of possible meeting in the future "as soon as that slitty eyed, moon faced rocket man gives me back the lawn mower I lent his Dad in 1952 even though he says I never did".

The Manorway Park Massacre.

Manorway Park
before the slaughter.
A few days ago, I posted a few images of our local park on the Thamesmead Facebook page along with a satirical comment about Peabody and the poor standard of maintenance. The grass (what was left of it anyway) clearly hadn't been cut in a long time and while I do support keeping some of our green areas set aside for wildlife, this is an area that children like to play on and it was clearly not up to the job.

Anyway, someone from Peabody picked it up and a few days later I could hear the sound of lawn mowers and strimmers going at it.

I've been back to look at the result. 

Deary me. Next time lads, might I suggest doing the job before going to the pub and not on the way back. It looks like Desperate Dan's face after a particularly inefficient shave. Top points for the effort though.

Don't touch.
And while we are on the subject of Peabody and public area maintenance.

Anyone visiting the town centre from the Thamesmere Drive bus stop will have to walk past a particularly unpleasant piece of local flora in the shape of a herb commonly known as Hemlock (Conium maculatum). 

It looks a bit like Cow Parsley on steroids and with large purple markings on the stem.

You've probably heard of it, and yes, it really is very poisonous. If you see it, don't touch it or try to remove it and please keep your kid's hands off it because if one of them puts it in their mouth they will almost certainly die.

Moron Alert!

It's happened again. This picture turned up on my Facebook page a few days ago. As you can see, someone has stolen a picture of a sick person lying in a hospital bed; they have then stolen a picture of someone's cat and then badly Photoshopped the two images together along with the accompanying message. This is in order to collect click-bait likes, the subject of which has been covered on these pages many times.

Because the quality of the image is so poor (you can actually see the pattern of the patient's gown showing through the cat's ears) it's hard to imagine anyone being fooled by it for a minute.

You would be wrong: literally tens of thousands of likes, shares and comments, all of which were made up of soppy remarks about how lovely this all was and none at all about how loathsome it was to steal a picture like this for some gratuitous purpose. 

I sometimes wonder why we ever bothered climbing down out of the trees.

Just for those of you who might still be fooled by these things, here (once again) is some information you should read first.

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