The Thamesmead Grump

THE EUROVISION SONG WAR

The 2006 winners representing the planet Zzxlgnuut.

Last night saw the 61st (I think) episode of the international freak show known as the Eurovision Song Contest in which viewers (I'm assuming the rest of this because I didn't watch it, I'm just going by what I read afterwards) were treated to the usual outpouring of xenophobic nationalism which has, in the past, included bearded transvestites; Lordi, who played for Finland but who actually came from another planet, and a whole host of songs whose titles were made up from the most imaginative permutations of the words boom, bong, bang and bing.

Conchita, winning in 2014

Last night's event was won by someone called Jamala for the Ukraine with a masterful rendition of an account of the forced deportation of ethnic Tatars from Crimea by Stalin in 1944. Rock on.

In second place were Australia, who some of you may know isn't actually in Europe but is a large continent in the Southern hemisphere.

As usual, there was the (now traditional) booing of the Russian entry on the grounds of (insert reason here). 

Woof Woof!

I read somewhere that Ivan, who is performing for Belarus wanted to perform naked and surrounded by wolves, which gives a whole new meaning to the term "barking mad". In the event, he only started the act 'au naturel' as it were. He was rather more conventionally attired for the rest of his performance. You can see it here if you are so inclined.

The UKs entry from Joe and Jake, whoever they are, came a creditable 24th.

This year the European Broadcasting Union decided to broadcast the whole thing live to the United States, presumably as a warning about Donald Trump. 

Elect him and we'll do it again.