On the Run
If you have been wondering where I have been
At last, my dark deeds have caught up with me and the FBI is on my case. I am such a scary person though, that they want to arrest me on line. Someone has told me that this is not a real message from the FBI but I don't want to take any chances.
Now that The Thamesmead Grump is officially 'Public Enemy No 1', I am going to have to go into hiding for a while. I have also tried another tactic which is to try and brazen it out. I don't know if this is going to get me into even more trouble though. Just look at the list of different law enforcement and other agencies that will be trying to track me down. The North Yorkshire Police are especially scary.
This is what I have received
Attention: This is the final warning you will receive from me. This notice has been sent to you in many occasions/ several times but you ignored it.I have warned you so many times and you decided to ignore my e-mails because you believe we have not been instructed to get you arrested, if you fail to respond back to us with the payment details below, then we would first send a letter to the MAYOR of the city where you reside and also direct the bank to close your account until you comply with our directives. Note that all your properties will be confiscated by the Federal Bureau of Investigation. We would also send a letter to the company/organization you work for so that they could get you fired until we are through with our investigations because a suspect is not supposed to be working for the government or any private organization. Your ID which we have in our database has been sent to all the crimes agencies in America for them to upload you in their website as an internet fraudsters and a terrorist (suicide bomber). This would have been solved all this while if you have gotten the CERTIFICATE ENDORSED AND STAMPED. I, ROBERT S. MUELLER , Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) wish to inform you that there is no more time left to waste because you have been given enough grace, therefore you have been mandated to comply immediately you read this e-mail if you don't want to be arrested. As stated earlier, to have the document endorsed and stamped without any delay, you must adhere to this directives to avoid you from blaming yourself at last when we must have been arrested and sentence you to life imprisonment. Note that all your properties will be seized and bank account will be confiscated too. However, I have decided to see how i can be of help to you because i would not be happy to see you end up in jail and all your properties got confiscated because your information was used to carry out fraudulent transactions. I called a private attorney that is working with FBI office in state of New York who can help you get the process done and he stated that he will endorse and stamp the document at the sum of $290 only and i believe this process is cheaper for you. You need to do everything possible to get this process done today or tomorrow because i have been informed by the ARREST WARRANT ISSUANCE DEPARTMENT that the warrant of arrest has been prepared against you and once is being signed by me as the FBI DIRECTOR, and then the arrest will be carried out in the next 72 hours. From our investigations, we learnt that you were the person that forwarded your identification to one impostor/ fraudster in Benin Republic when he had a deal with you in regards to the transfer of some illegal funds into your bank account. We have investigated and found out that you don't have any idea when the fraudulent deal was conducted with your information's/identity and right now your ID is placed on our database as a wanted person. I believe you know that it will be a shame to you and your entire family. Also it will be announced in all the local channels that you are wanted by the FBI. Note: All the crimes agencies have been contacted on this regards and we shall trace and arrest you if you disregard this instruction. You are advised to make the payment so that your name will be cancel out fraudulent list today and you will we shall instruct the bank to transfer the total $1.5M USD into your account. Failure to do that will attract a maximum arrest and finally we shall apply for litigation against you. Thereafter, you will appear in ADMINISTRATIVE DISTRICT COURT OF WASHINGTON D.C for terrorism, money laundering and drug trafficking charges. Be warned; do not try anything funny because we are monitoring you from our satellite.Meanwhile, I pleaded on your behalf so that this agency could give you 72 hours so that you can get this process done. Bear it in mind that this is the only way that i can be able to help you at this moment.But if you fail to comply you will face the law and its consequences once it had befallen on you. You will have to make the payment through money gram transfer with the below information then Send the payment details to me as stated below. RECEIVER: NAME.......... EMMANUEL OKOYE COUNTRY......................BENIN REPUBLIC CITY........COTONOU TEXT QUESTION.........IN GOD ANSWER................... WE TRUST AMOUNT: $290 SENDER'S NAME......... MTCN................. Do not hesitate to make the payment today with the above outlined information so that they will have your name canceled from the fraudulent list and endorsed and stamped your transfer immediately without any further delay. After all this process is being carried out, then we will have to proceed to the bank for the transfer of your funds valued at $1.5M USD only, which is supposed to have been transferred to your bank account. Note: As you can see below, all the crimes agencies have been contacted on this regards and we shall trace and arrest you if you disregard this instructions. You have been given a grace till 72 hours to make the payment for the document but failure to do that you will attract a maximum arrest and finally you will be appearing in court for act of terrorism, money laundering and drug trafficking charges, so be warned not to try anything funny because you are been watched. Expecting your anticipated co-operation. Yours in service, ROBERT S. MUELLER FBI DIRECTOR CC: Canadian Police Association CC: Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) CC: GENERAL INTELLIGENCE DEPARTMENT (GID) CC: Asia Pacific Group on Money Laundering (APG) CC: Egmont Group CC: FEDERAL BURUEA OF INVESTIGATION (FBI USA) CC: European Bank for Reconstruction and Development (EBRD) CC: Financial Action Task Force (FATF) CC: International Monetary Fund (IMF) CC: International Organization of Securities Commissions (IOSCO) CC: International Banking Security Association (IBSA) CC: International Air Transport Association (IATA) CC: Institute de Formation Interbancaire (INSIG) CC: World Customs Organization (WCO) CC: Inter-American Development Bank (IADB) CC: Offshore Group of Banking Supervisors (OGBS) CC: WORLD CENTRAL BANK (WCB) CC: NIGERIA POLICE FORCE (NPF) CC: NORTH YORKSHIRE POLICE (UK) CC: ECONOMIC FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC) Response soonest. FBI Directors ROBERT S. MUELLER. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This e-mail message, is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information or otherwise be protected by law. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply e-mail and destroy all copies of the original.
I have sent a reply using an alias - I hope I haven't made a big mistake
Dear Mr Robert S Mueller How dare you write to me in that tone of voice. I will have you know that I am a member of the British Aristocracy and am a personal friend of Her Majesty the Queen. If you are claiming that I am guilty of the offences you claim then I suggest you furnish me with the evidence or I will instruct my associates in MI5 to deal with you. My advice to you is to withdraw your wholly unjustified allegations and threats and agree to pay the money you owe me without delay. I await your response
W. Featherstonhaugh esq.I will let you all know how I get on. That's it for now.