Make America Rake Again

A little while ago, US President Donald Trump was in Paris, hiding in the embassy so he wouldn't get his hair wet. During this stay he also met Sauli Niinistö, President of Finland who told him that the reason that they don't have huge forest fires, currently being experienced in California, is because they do a lot of raking.

Now the fact is that almost all of Finland is covered in forest, this would mean raking around 338 thousand square kilometres which would mean pretty much the entire population would be at it or they would need a bloody big rake. 

In actual fact, this conversation never took place. What we have instead is the President of the United States having imaginary conversations with foreign leaders. I have to wonder who else he is talking to who doesn't exist and what are they discussing?

Perhaps we will never know.

Exterminate

I've decided that I don't like the new series of Doctor Who. It's nothing to do with the fact that they have turned him into a woman; done properly, it would have been an interesting experiment. It's a number of things.

I don't like the scatterbrained, breathless way Jodie Whitaker delivers the part. It might have been all right at the beginning: it takes the Doctor a while to start firing on all cylinders after regenerating, we all know that, and we could imagine it was her way of getting her new personality together. But after eight episodes, she is still behaving as if the lift still hasn't reached the top floor yet and I have to assume that's how she is going to do it.

I also really don't like the fact that it isn't really a science fiction series any more. What we have is a fairly obvious anti-white/male/hetro-sexual/British political propaganda presentation with the odd alien monster tagged on as a sort of afterthought, just so they can keep calling it Doctor Who.

Did I mention the Sonic Screwdriver? Some while back, the Doctor's sonic screwdriver started to be used as more of a weapon than utensil. The David Tennant character was often seen posing with it aimed at the enemy in a way that was reminiscent of Captain Kirk with his phaser. Now it can be best described as a plot hole-filler. The Doctor needs to do/analyse/destroy, etc. anything and instead of thinking up something clever and Doctor Whoish, out comes the screwdriver and, lo and behold, it can suddenly do whatever you need.

I had rather hoped that the first scene in the new series where she loses the dammed thing might have been the last we saw of it, (it would have gone some way to redeeming the new series) but no, we have to have a new one, capable of even more miracles than the last.

Don't think I'll bother with The Christmas episode - oh! I forgot, they're not showing it at Christmas; it's going out on New Year's Day. They must be hoping that we are all going to be too hungover to notice what a dog's dinner it's managed to become.

Fake Poppies and the 

English Defence League

EDL poppy badge

Oh Dear! I was never intending this blog to get political. OK, I may take a pop at the local council from time to time, that's what they are here for after all. But I am going to make an exception for the English Defence League. (EDL).

In the couple of weeks leading up to Remembrance Day you will generally find me out and about with my tray of poppies and other knick-knacks raising money for the Royal British Legion (RBL). This year however, I have found a number of people sporting metal poppy badges with various slogans on them. It seems that others have jumped onto the bandwagon, deciding this is a good little earner and are producing their own fake variety.

Fake poppy badge

As far as I can see the English Defence League are one of the main offenders with a number of products for sale including metal badges, t-shirts and other stuff. I am not aware of them passing the profits form the sale of these items on to the Royal British Legion, if this is not the case, perhaps they will enlighten me.

All the profit from the badges I was selling goes towards RBL projects.

Genuine RBL poppy badge

Ebay is also full of sellers offering such treats along with others carrying slogans which I do not intend to display here. I have spoken to many of those wearing fake badges who genuinely believed that the money they paid was going to the RBL and were surprised to discover that the sellers were either keeping the money for themselves or passing it on to what can sometimes be extremist political groups. I can understand why some people would be attracted to buying these, the messages are highly emotive and they might think they are making a valid protest but they should also consider where their donation is going to finish up.

I have always argued that fanatics on opposite sides of any debate, be it political, religious or other, often have more in common with each other that either of them have with 'normal people'. At least, the swivel eyed Islamist nut jobs buy genuine poppy wreaths to burn, thereby donating their money to a good cause. This is more than can be said for organisations like the  EDL who con people into believing their donation will somehow help our armed forces but keep the money themselves.

Many of the sellers on Ebay are genuine and selling products for local groups with the money going where it should but you should be very careful before buying and take the time to check the credentials of those selling. The best way to avoid being mislead is to only buy RBL products from their own website here.

Joined up Government

While we are on the subject of politics, I have just read an article on the BBC News Website about how HMRC are going to be targeting employers who use internships as a way of paying employees below the minimum wage or even nothing at all.

The best way for employers to get around the tiresome bother of having to pay staff wages is to sign up for the DWP Mandatory Work Activity Scheme. The local Jobcentre will then send them people who will have to work up to 30 hours a week and the employer doesn't have to pay them anything at all. The DWP tries to claim that most of these jobs are working in some sort of community project. It also says that  'However the work can also include activity that generates a profit for the employer, as long as there is a clear community benefit'. Stacking shelves in Poundland is of course one of those activities.

The Grassy Knoll

We are coming up to the 50th anniversary of the assassination of John F Kennedy which occurred on the 22nd of November 1963.

I can remember exactly when I heard about it so, as I am told, can everyone of my generation. I was 14 years old and waiting for friends to come knocking and we would all head off to our school for what was called 'Radio Class'.

John F Kennedy 1917 - 1963

This was an evening class where we were taught the basics of radio and electronic construction. Lots of excitement as they arrived with the story that Kennedy had been shot. Later in the evening we heard the news of his death on an old wireless we had been reconstructing. 

I suppose my first feeling was one of disbelief. It was perhaps my first real introduction to the grown-up world where I realised that I could be affected by world events. Only a year earlier, the Cuban missile crisis had largely passed me by.

Over the years, the conspiracy theorists have had a field day where it has been claimed that he was killed by the CIA, the Mafia, Trade Unionists, the Russians, the Cubans, Drug Gangs and the Flying Saucer People. It has even been suggested that he was shot by a lunatic lone gunman with a mail order rifle but that idea is too ridiculous for words.

Exterminate! Exterminate!

Proper Daleks, not multi-coloured ones

Which leads me on the next 50th anniversary - Doctor Who. Now I can remember exactly where I was when this first came on the TV.

I was sitting on the floor of our living room with my little brother; we were sitting in front of the fire on a rug that we had made ourselves from a mesh frame and little balls of wool cut to size. I can't remember the programme that preceded it but I remember the announcer saying, "and now, Doctor Who. 

'What could this be about?' we both thought, then that amazing music and the electronic images started. Of course nowadays, something like this would have been trailered to death for weeks before being broadcast but in those days nothing like that happened. It has always seemed really strange to me because I can clearly remember the Kennedy assassination and the first episode of Doctor Who which was just 2 days later but I have never been able to associate the two. Funny how the mind works. 

Monday morning at school and the world was divided between those who had seen it and those who hadn't. Those who had couldn't stop talking about it and it seemed this was repeated all over the country as the BBC repeated the first episode again the following week, such was the demand. No 'On Demand' or video recorders in those days; if you missed it, you missed it. Since then there have been science fiction films with warp drives, death rays, transporters and deadly aliens but no-one, absolutely no-one has ever had a box that was bigger on the inside than the outside and the first time I saw it, I was totally gobsmacked. 

Carol Ann Ford & William Hartnell
Susan Foreman & The Doctor

William Hartnell was my Doctor Who and was easily the best. Sinister and genuinely alien. I have never been very comfortable with the Messianic style of the latest ones. I prefer the original Daleks, too, proper scary; these multi-coloured ones look like they just fell out of a Christmas Cracker. And whatever happened to Susan? It would be nice to see how she fared after she was left on Earth.

Another Political Statement

For all of those poppy burning bigots and their equally fanatical opponents, here is another chance for you to show your hatred of Britain.

Forget poppy burning, now is your opportunity to show your utter contempt for Britain with this offering from Sainsbury's. 

Take the Union Jack, our National flag and the principal symbol of our country, then throw it on the floor where you and your friends can show your contempt by wiping your feet on it. To be fair, you can also buy the same thing from Tesco, where it will 'clean the dirt off the soles of your shoes' and Debenham's who apparently think it will 'add a touch of charm to your room' Invading armies the world over use captured enemy flags in this way so why not do the same with ours? Perhaps they will bring out a toilet roll as well. Actually, one with a picture of Lord Sainsbury's face on it would be good.

p.s. yes I know that it can also be called the 'Union Flag' but either can be used or none at all, just calling it the 'British Flag'. See here if you don't believe me.