Здравствуйте!

Which means "Hello" in Russian, or so I'm led to believe.

The reason for my unlikely greeting is that I am currently getting a lot of hits on my site coming from Russia; in fact, around ten times as many as everywhere else put together. I'm not sure why this is; I did make a few uncomplimentary comments about Vladimir Putin a while back, perhaps this has something to do with it.

Anyway, it has inspired me to start writing my blog again after some absence.

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

Lawmakers in California are drawing up regulations governing the use of self driving cars. They will however, still insist that a licensed driver is behind the wheel in the event of a failure of the technology.

This is strange given that the majority of motor vehicle accidents are caused, at least to some extent, by driver error. The actual figures vary according to who you are asking and how the results are interpreted, but some reports put the figure as high as 95%.

That being so, it would make more sense if the legislation insisted that no-one should be allowed to drive a car without some sort of driverless technology to take control of the vehicle in the event of the driver making a mistake.

It wouldn't surprise me if, in a few years time, such legislation did exist and by then, we would all be wondering how cars could have been allowed to be driven around by people.

It occurred to me that it was rather a case of history repeating itself as it reminded me of the old Locomotive Act of 1865 which required a man to carry a red flag in front of any self-propelled vehicle.

Strangely enough, while I was looking for an image to go with this item, I found this article by Lloyds of London who, it seems, are one step ahead of me and have produced a report on how the introduction of self driving cars will affect the insurance industry. They too have made the connection with the red flag man.

POE'S LAW.

(Without a clear indicator of the author's intent, parodies of extreme views will, to some readers, be indistinguishable from sincere expressions of the parodied views).

(Nathan Poe 2005)

The Thamesmead Grump Interpretation of Poe's Law.

Even with a clear indicator of the author's intent, parodies of extreme views will, to some readers, be indistinguishable from sincere expressions of the parodied views.

(The Thamesmead Grump 2015)

I know I keep referring to this quote but I just can't get over how stupid some people are.

Look on any satirical website and read the comments posted by readers about the stories published there. It isn't just people being fooled by a seemingly extremist or bizarre story report, they are even fooled when there is a clear indicator of the author's intent.

World News daily Report is one such spoof news site and issue the following statement

"WNDR assumes however all responsibility for the satirical nature of its articles and for the fictional nature of their content. All characters appearing in the articles in this website – even those based on real people –  are entirely fictional and any resemblance between them and any persons, living, dead, or undead is purely a miracle."

Clear enough, don't you think? But no, if you click on this link, you will see a report which claims a 14 year old girl became pregnant after receiving a flu vaccine shot. Even the anti-vax loonies haven't made that claim but just look at some of the comments posted by readers who have read the story and still believe it's true.

Many of these stories turn up on my Facebook page as if they were real.

The trouble is that you can't tell if the people posting the comments that make it look like they actually believed the story are doing a Poe as well. Sometimes I just don't know who to believe.

DIETITIAN v NUTRITIONIST

All dietitians are nutritionists but not all nutritionists are dietitians.

Anyone giving professional advice about nutrition should hold a Health & Care Professions Council (HCPC) approved degree in dietetics or nutrition, or an HCPC-approved post graduate qualification in dietetics. 

The title "Nutritionist" has no official meaning in the UK as it is not subject to professional regulation. This means that anyone can call themselves a nutritionist and leaves the field open to cranks and charlatans.

It also is a really useful money making scam for organisations who will dispense fake credentials which make the practitioner look like they are qualified when in fact they are not.

This fact was highlighted in spectacular fashion when Dr Ben Goldacre, was able to obtain accreditation as a certified professional member of the American Association of Nutritional Consultants (AANC) for his dead cat Hettie.
(Ben Goldacre - Bad Science. Also published in the Guardian newspaper)

This is the same accreditation claimed by TV celebrity "nutritionist" and notorious poo-jabber Gillian McKeith.

While researching this piece, I happened across a sketch by comedian Dara O'Briain that I thought I would share.

THE DETOX MYTH

While I'm on the subject of cranks, let's talk about detoxing. Most, so-called, detox remedies are fairly harmless. They don't do anything of course but they make people feel less guilty about all the crap junk food they eat and are sold to people who will believe any rubbish told them, especially if it's by a celebrity, and will part with money they would otherwise give away to some other hopeless cause like a silver lined hat to stop all those dangerous rays from phone masts. (This is true and if you don't believe me then go to this website where you can buy one. Actually, when I first saw it, I thought it was another spoof site but it isn't.)

Others are not so harmless and an example of one of the more dangerous is this. It is a product called "Herbal Womb Detox Pearls" and is apparently a small pouch of herbs women are supposed to insert into their vagina in order to correct conditions such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts and thrush. 

Another product is supposed to promote "vaginal tightening". The mind boggles.

This idea, along with the vagina steaming scam promoted by the Fanny Steamer in Chief Gwyneth Paltrow and reported earlier in the year, is not recommended by proper doctors who say that not only are the claims made for the product absurd, they may actually be dangerous. They could cause serious irritation or even potentially life threatening toxic shock syndrome.

Quite why anyone would think that inserting unknown items of vegetable matter into their bodily orifices is a good idea is beyond me but I suppose it takes all sorts.

You can learn more about it by reading this article in the Independent.

WREN

That's enough grumping for today. Here is a picture of a Wren I took at the bird hide in Hall Place. You can see it too if you visit.

IS IT OR ISN'T IT

A Poe, that is

 

The BBC is reporting that someone called Alex Wild, from the Taxpayers' Alliance has suggested that the Government cut pensionor benefits and that they should do it right away because most of the pensioners affected will be dead by the next election or be too senile to remember which party brought in the cuts.

This sounds like something straight off the pages of the Daily Mash or, given that it might be too sick even from them, Newswatch33.

Actually, it is reported by the Daily Mash as you can read here although they don't seem to be claiming the story is one of theirs.

It must be a Poe*, surely; I mean, no-one could seriously make a suggestion like that. At least, no-one not walking around in a nice white jacket that does up at the back.

 

I'm sure that, once the story has done the rounds on Facebook, someone will pop up and shout "April Fool" or something similar.

Alex Wild is apparently the Research Director for the "think tank" which is what the BBC laughingly calls the Taxpayers' Alliance. Unfortunately, I cannot find a picture of him anywhere so I have had to use this one taken from the pages of  Australian blogger AJM Crawford who may or may not look like Alex Wild.

*Poe's law is an Internet agage which states that, without a clear indicator of the author's intent, parodies of extreme views will, to some readers, be indistinguishable from sincere expressions of the parodied views

POE'S LAW

I wrote an article about Poe's Law a few weeks ago. To refresh your memory, Poe's Law states that "without a clear indicator of the author's intent, parodies of extreme views, will, to some readers, be indistinguishable from sincere expressions of the parodied views."

Nathan Poe, the law's inventor, when taking part in a Christian internet forum, said that it was "impossible to parody a creationist view in such a way that someone won't mistake for the genuine article."

Poe's Law, which originally referred to Creationism in particular, has now been expanded to refer to any form of extremism. 

Free the Bonehead one

A good example is the Daily Bale, a blog published by the country's leading champion of free expression, Joshua Bonehill-Paine. There is quite a discussion going on in chat room circles about whether his blog is actually a wind-up. As he is currently in prison on remand awaiting trial after one of his publications went wrong, he is either a genuine nut job or else he takes his entertainment very seriously indeed.

One of my favourite examples of the genre is the Landover Baptist Church which, among other things, has a lot to say about the sinfulness of being left handed and excuses it's poor spelling and grammar by explaining that the writer comes from Denmark and his first language is Denmarkian. It still didn't stop people posting comments about how he shouldn't pick on left handed people.

If you are interested in the subject and perhaps thinking of starting a web blog of your own, there is some further reading here that should give you some ideas.

THE TRADE IN LUNACY

Back in the old days, there was no TV and people had to make their own entertainment. One way of spending an otherwise dull day was to pay to be a spectator at the Bethlam Royal Hospital for the Insane, commonly referred to as Bedlam.

In 1598, the Governors of the hospital decided they could raise revenue by charging people to come and look at the loonies and poke fun at their antics. Later, the post of Physician at the hospital, which was an honorary and charitable one, meant that most of their income was obtained in what became known as "the trade in lunacy" where physicians would set up their own mad-house to make money.

Today, we do have TV and the "trade in lunacy" is carried out there. Channel 4 broadcasts a weekly programme called "Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners" where people with severe mental health problems are put on display so the audience can laugh at them.

In this programme, they take a person with an obsessive compulsive disorder which makes them obsessive cleaners and puts them with those whose disorders make them obsessive hoarders.

I do recall a film a few years ago called "See no Evil, Hear no Evil" where a deaf Gene Wilder and a blind Eddie Murphy find themselves caught up in various hilarious situations where neither understands, or is aware of, the other's condition. In the film, we are laughing with the characters as they blunder from one disaster to another.

In "Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners", we are not laughing with them, we are definitely laughing at them as they struggle to come to terms with what can be a crippling and life limiting condition.

Anyway, if you want to watch "Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners", or "Let's Laugh at the Loony Show", it's on Channel 4 at 8:00pm on Tuesdays.

THE LABOUR LEADERSHIP CONTEST

There now follows a statement about the Labour leadership contest on behalf of the Thamesmead Grump.

Firstly, I don't give a toss who wins it.

Secondly, why is the Labour Party having kittens over the prospect of Jeremy Corbyn winning it? They are all bleating on about how he is too left wing to appeal to voters.

Hello!! Didn't the Scottish Nationalist Party go into the last election with a manifesto that was even more left wing than Michael Foot's famous suicide note of 1983?

We had Moderate Labour candidates going head to head with the nuclear disarming, nationalise everything SNP. Which party's candidates got shown their arses?

Okay, so Scotland isn't England but it can't be that different.

Actually, I wouldn't mind Jeremy Corbyn winning. At least it would give me an alternative to the Torilabour party we have at present. I suppose I could always vote UKIP.

Check, underpants on head? - no.

Not UKIP then.

There are three other candidates for the post of Labour leader:-
Andy Burnham
Yvette Cooper
Liz Kendall

Bollock to all of them, too.

IT'S A VERY SILLY BEER

I do enjoy a visit to the Birchwood pub in Abbey Wood. They change their choice of beer on a regular basis so you never know quite what you are going to get.

Last week, this was one of the selection on offer. Produced by the Black Sheep Brewery and called Monty Python's Holy Grail, it is claimed on their website that it is a full flavoured golden ale with citrusy notes and a long crisp dry finish. Personally, I like my beer to be full of alcohol but each to his own I suppose.

The Black Sheep Brewery is one of the Theakston's family enterprises so you would expect them to produce a good quality beer.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to sample it as I was working my way down a barrel of  Doom Bar at the time and by the end of that, the Holy Grail had disappeared. Actually, I prefer a darker beer anyway so perhaps it's just as well.

poe's law

"Without a clear indication of the author's intent, it is difficult or impossible to tell the difference between an expression of sincere extremism and a parody of extremism."

Poe's Law started out describing the views of Creationist extremists, their detractors who would parody them with even more extreme views, and the impossibility of telling the two apart. The argument being that the views of these extremists are so totally bonkers that nothing any rational person could invent could seem more outrageous than the real thing.

It has since gone on to describe the parodying of extreme views of all kind, political, religious, you name it.

In the two examples shown above, you can see Poe's Law in action. On the left is a front page headline taken from a copy of the Daily Express; an extreme right wing newspaper which specialises in fake stories intended to stir up religious and ethnic hatred.

On the right is a story recently published in the satirical web based magazine British News BFNN. 

If you read any BFNN stories and scroll to the bottom of the page, you will see a disclaimer which reads "for the avoidance of doubt, all stories posted here are  works of fiction, and you would have to be a moron to believe them."

The Daily Express issues no such disclaimer and encourages their readers to carry on believing their stories. At least the Daily Mail retracted their story about how a restaurant in Nigeria was serving human heads.

Both of these stories have appeared on my Facebook timeline, accompanied by foul mouthed, half wit comments from people who believed them to be true.

In the two cases above and others like it, no real harm has been done as the morons who have been taken in by them are just that - morons. It's unlikely that stories will have changed their mind set in any way whatsoever. If only that were always the case.

Joshua Bonehill-Paine

Enter, my old chum Joshua Bonehill-Paine. he publishes a number of blogs including The Daily Bale, not to be confused with the Daily Mail. I have been told that I shouldn't be giving free publicity to his website, but come on, look at it for Christ's sake; definitely worth a read.

Interestingly enough, as an example of Poe's Law in action, there is quite an online debate about whether his website is meant to be taken seriously or is, itself, a parody.

Anyway, as you may have read in some of my earlier posts about this champion of free speech, he has published stories, believed by morons, that have resulted in consequences that were far from harmless. I'm thinking particularly about one of his posts, again copied onto Facebook about how a pub in Leicester had banned serving members of the armed forces in case it offended Muslims.

This resulted in some of the above mentioned morons who, believing the story was true, threatened the pub and staff with violence. Joshua, who was described by the judge at the subsequent court hearing as a moron, is in fact not a moron. He does probably need help of the psychiatric kind and what he does could be called moronic but the real morons are always going to be the ones who believe the adage, "it's on Facebook, how could it not be true?"

There are other examples of his work that you can read about if you click the link to his Wikipedia page.

Here is a little bit of advice for "would be" morons:-

1. Don't believe everything you read on Facebook.

2. If you see a story on Facebook that you feel the need to comment on, share, like, etc., then click on the story first to see what it's about. The BFNN story is a good example as you would have seen the disclaimer before commenting on how terrible it was.

3. Google the name of the author or a few words of the posts. You remember that story you all shared and commented on about how a Church in Wiltshire was going to be turned into a Mosque and all the bodies were going to be dug up and moved. Well, I Googled "Muslim Wiltshire Church" and it turned up this. Just think how much embarrassment you could have saved yourself if you did.

By the way, I have a bone to pick with Bonehill (gedditt). Last year my fellow (and more regular) blogger, Hugh Neal of Arthur Pewty's Maggot Sandwich fame, (Always a good read and published without fail every Sunday), commented on one of my stories about Joshua Bonehill-Paine. I think it was the fake "Amy Hamilton" one. Joshua seems to have taken exception to this and issued Hugh with a number of threats; you can read more about it on his blog.

He hasn't threatened me and I was the one with the original, and several later, posts. Shame on you Joshua. What is the point of me slaving over my keyboard, inventing witty and erudite prose designed to provoke a violent backlash from odious pieces of shit like you and you just go and ignore me. It's been ages since some loathsome toe rag has had a go at me so get to it or I will taunt you some more.

and now for something completely different

Here is a female Tufted Duck swimming around on the Belvedere marshes.

And here is a Common Tern fishing over the river. If you happen to be strolling beside the Thames and see a little white bird dipping in and out of the water, it will be one of these jobbies. They can't sit on the water and bob up and down like the gulls because their feathers aren't waterproof, they would get waterlogged and sink.